At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
