Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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