Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
