ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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