I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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