sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Cover your peen. We're going out.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
