6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
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