I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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