You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
