he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
