He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
