love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Someone signed my nipple.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
