It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
