i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
