I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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