I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
