Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
