Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
