I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
