I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
My ATM looks so different sober.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize