Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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