all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Fuck appropriateness.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
