I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
