Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
