Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
