3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I won't apologize to a one balled man
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
