i jhust puked up my retainher.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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