Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
two words...techno handjob
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
