Where are you?
In a non slutty way
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I look better un-naked...
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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