Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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