Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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