i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
this beer tastes like vomit already
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize