Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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