I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
