there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I am naked and annoyed.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
