Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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