she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
