So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
