We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
