just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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