I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize