I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
