she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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