I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
