I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
