I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
