I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
