i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
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