Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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