A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Boobs speak an international language.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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