i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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