Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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