One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
