So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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