he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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