He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
