you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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