Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
