hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
