T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
