i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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