Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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