It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
