they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
3 2 1 whiskey
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize